Why Won’t My Baby Sleep?

It’s 2:00 a.m. Your baby’s eyes are wide open. You’re exhausted, running on broken sleep, and wondering “Is something wrong? Why can’t my baby sleep?

If this feels familiar, take a deep breath and you're not alone.
Baby sleep is one of the biggest challenges new parents face, especially in the first year. Many loving, attentive parents struggle with an infant that won’t sleep, no matter how much rocking, feeding, or soothing they try.

The good news is that most baby sleep problems are normal, temporary, and solvable with gentle adjustments. In this guide, we’ll explore why baby sleep can be difficult, the most common sleep struggles, and practical, reassuring solutions to help both you and your baby rest better.

Why Baby Sleep Is So Challenging (Especially in the First Year)

Many parents expect sleep to improve naturally after the newborn stage, only to feel confused when nights remain unpredictable. This frustration often comes from comparing baby sleep to adult sleep but the two are very different.

In the first year, a baby’s brain and nervous system are developing rapidly. Sleep patterns are immature, needs change constantly, and growth spurts can disrupt even the best routines. Understanding this developmental reality can remove a lot of pressure and help you approach baby sleep with more patience and confidence.

Babies Don’t Sleep Like Adults

Babies:

• Have shorter sleep cycles
  
• Wake frequently for feeding and comfort
  
• Haven’t developed a biological “day/night” rhythm yet

This means waking up often is normal, even if it feels overwhelming. Baby sleep develops gradually, not overnight and every baby is different.

Common Baby Sleep Problems (And Why They Happen)

1. Newborn Day–Night Confusion

In the early weeks, many parents notice their baby sleeping peacefully during the day and staying wide awake at night. While exhausting, this is one of the most common newborn sleep challenges.

Why it happens:
Newborns aren’t born with a circadian rhythm. Their internal clock needs time and repeated cues to learn the difference between day and night.

How to help:
Keep days bright and interactive
Use dim lights and calm voices at night
Be consistent, progress is gradual

 This usually improves by 6–8 weeks.

2. Infant That Won’t Sleep Unless Being Held

One of the most emotionally draining sleep struggles is having an infant that won’t sleep unless they’re in your arms. The moment you put them down, they wake up — and you’re back at the beginning.

Why it happens:
Your baby feels safest close to you. Your warmth, heartbeat, and scent remind them of the womb and provide instant comfort.

Gentle solutions:

• Put baby down when drowsy, not fully asleep
• Maintain a predictable bedtime routine
• Use swaddling for younger babies

This phase is common and temporary, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.

3. Baby Can’t Sleep Due to Over-Tiredness

This one surprises many parents. It may seem logical that a very tired baby would fall asleep easily, but overtiredness is actually one of the biggest causes of sleep difficulties.

When a baby stays awake too long, their body releases stress hormones that make settling down much harder. This often leads to crying, resistance, and short naps.

What helps:

• Watch for early sleep cues (yawning, eye rubbing)
  
• Respect age-appropriate wake windows
  
• Avoid pushing bedtime too late

Preventing overtiredness can dramatically improve baby sleep.

4. Frequent Night Wakings

Waking multiple times at night is one of the most common reasons parents worry about baby sleep. While tiring, it’s important to remember that night waking is biologically normal especially in babies under one year.

Common reasons:

• Hunger
• Short sleep cycles
• Need for reassurance

How to support better sleep:

• Ensure baby feeds well during the day
• Keep nighttime interactions calm and quiet
• Gradually support self-soothing skills

Night waking is developmentally normal especially in young toddlers.

5. Sleep Regressions

Just when sleep starts improving, it can suddenly fall apart again. This sudden change is often called a sleep regression and can feel incredibly discouraging which are more common in 4 months, 6–8 months, 12 months.

Sleep regressions often coincide with big developmental milestones such as rolling, crawling, or increased awareness of separation from parents.

How to cope:

• Stick to familiar routines
• Offer extra comfort without changing everything
• Remember that regressions are temporary

Sleep regressions pass, even though they feel endless. Patience and consistency are your best tools during this phase.

Gentle Approaches to Sleep Training

Sleep training doesn’t have to mean leaving your baby to cry it out. For many parents especially those navigating the first year — gentle sleep methods feel more aligned with their parenting values and their baby’s needs. These approaches focus on building trust, responding with comfort, and helping your baby gradually learn the skill of falling asleep on their own.

Here are a few gentle techniques that many families find helpful and easy to adapt based on their baby’s temperament and developmental stage:

The "Drowsy But Awake" Method

This method encourages your baby to learn how to fall asleep independently, while still feeling safe and supported by your presence. It’s especially helpful if your little one relies heavily on rocking or feeding to fall asleep and you’re looking to ease that dependency gently.

How to try it:

• Start with your usual calming bedtime routine — bath, feeding, cuddles.
• Wait until your baby is calm and sleepy, but not fully asleep.
• Gently place them in their crib or bassinet while they’re still slightly awake.
• Stay nearby and offer soft reassurance — a gentle pat or “shhh” can be enough.

Be consistent, most babies begin to adjust after a few days of practice.

This method teaches your baby to associate their sleep space with comfort and falling asleep, while still feeling your support.

The Gradual Retreat (Chair Method)

If your baby struggles with separation or needs you nearby to fall asleep, this approach offers a gentle transition. Instead of stepping away all at once, you reduce your presence slowly over time giving your baby a chance to build confidence in stages.

How to try it:

Week 1: Sit right next to your baby’s crib until they fall asleep.
Week 2: Move your chair a little farther, halfway to the door.
Week 3: Sit at the doorway as they fall asleep.
Week 4: Move your chair just outside the room, or transition to saying goodnight and leaving the room calmly.

By slowly increasing the distance, your baby continues to feel reassured  but also starts learning how to sleep without needing you right next to them.

The “Pick Up, Put Down” Method

This method offers a balance between comforting your baby and encouraging independent sleep. It’s a good fit for babies who cry when placed in the crib but calm down quickly when held  and for parents who want to stay responsive without reinforcing full dependence on being held to fall asleep.

How to try it:

• Follow your bedtime routine and place your baby in the crib while they’re drowsy but awake.
• If your baby fusses or cries, pick them up to comfort and soothe — but don’t wait until they’re fully asleep.
• Once calm, gently place them back in the crib.
• Repeat this process as needed, staying calm and consistent.

It can take a little more time and patience, but it teaches your baby that you’re there when they need you and that they are capable of falling asleep with gentle support.

Tips to Keep in Mind

• Choose the method that feels most natural to you and your baby there’s no one-size-fits-all.
  
• Stay consistent for at least a few nights before deciding if it’s working.
  
• Most babies need about 3-7 nights to adjust to a new routine.
  
• It’s okay to pause or change the approach if it’s causing stress flexibility is part of the process.
  
• Your baby’s temperament, age, and sleep readiness all play a role trust your instincts.

How Feeding Can Affect Baby Sleep

Baby sleep and feeding are closely connected, even if it’s not always obvious. Discomfort during or after feeds can make it difficult for a baby to settle and stay asleep.

If your baby wakes frequently crying, seems unsettled after feeding, or struggles with gas or tummy discomfort, feeding may be playing a role in their sleep challenges.

Supportive feeding habits include:

• Calm, unrushed feeds
  
• Proper burping
  
• Watching for signs of discomfort or fullness
  
• Gentle digestion often supports more restful sleep

Some families explore gentle nutrition options like Kabrita that are easier on sensitive tummies, especially if digestion issues seem to interfere with sleep.

You may find this helpful: Baby Sleep Patterns for Different Age Groups

Creating a Calming Bedtime Routine (That Actually Works)

A bedtime routine doesn’t need to be long or complicated to be effective. What matters most is predictability and consistency.

When a baby experiences the same calming steps each night, their body and mind begin to associate those cues with sleep, making it easier to settle over time.

Simple routine example:

• Bath or gentle clean-up
  
• Pajamas and diaper change
  
• Feeding
  
• Quiet cuddles or soft lullaby
  
• Bed

Creating a Safe and Comfortable Sleep Environment

Even small adjustments to your baby’s sleep environment can make a noticeable difference. Babies sleep best when they feel both safe and comfortable.

Helpful tips:

• Comfortable room temperature
  
• Firm mattress with no loose items
  
• Dim lighting
  
• Optional white noise

Safety should always come first, followed closely by comfort.

When to Seek Extra Support

Sometimes, baby sleep struggles feel heavier than usual — especially when exhaustion builds up over weeks or months. While most sleep challenges are normal, there are moments when extra support can be helpful.

Consider speaking with a pediatrician if:

Your baby isn’t gaining weight well
Sleep issues seem extreme or persistent
You feel overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally drained
Seeking help is not a failure, it’s part of caring for both your baby and yourself.

You’re Not Alone in This

If your baby can’t sleep and you’re feeling exhausted, please remember: this does not define your parenting. Baby sleep is a journey filled with ups and downs, learning curves, and constant change.

With gentle routines, realistic expectations and time, sleep will improve. Until then, trust yourself, take support when you can, and know that you’re doing an incredible job, even on the tired days.

FAQ: Baby Sleep Questions Every Parent Asks

If you’re still feeling unsure, you’re not alone. These are some of the most common questions new parents ask when it comes to baby sleep and the answers may help bring a little clarity and comfort to your journey.

When will my baby sleep through the night?

Every baby is different, but most start sleeping longer stretches between 6–12 months. Some may do it earlier, while others take a little longer. Things like feeding habits, sleep environment, and developmental stages all play a role. Keep in mind: “Sleeping through the night” can still mean waking briefly and resettling on their own.

How much sleep does a 6-month-old need?

At 6 months, most babies need about 14–15 hours of total sleep per day, which usually includes 10–11 hours at night (with some brief wakings) and 2–3 hours of daytime naps. Sleep needs can vary slightly depending on the baby.

Is it normal for my baby to wake every 2 hours?

Yes, especially in the early months. Frequent waking is biologically normal and often tied to feeding needs, growth spurts, or sleep cycle changes. If it continues past 6 months and feels exhausting, gentle sleep strategies may help stretch out those sleep windows.

What is the 4-month sleep regression?

The 4-month sleep regression is a common phase when your baby’s sleep suddenly becomes more disrupted. It often shows up as more night waking, shorter naps, and difficulty falling asleep. It’s caused by changes in sleep cycles as your baby’s brain matures  and it’s a sign of healthy development. The good news? It usually passes within a few weeks.

How long should my baby’s wake windows be?

Wake windows vary by age. At a glance:

0–3 months: 45 minutes to 1.5 hours
4–6 months: 1.5 to 2.5 hours
7–9 months: 2 to 3 hours
10–12 months: 2.5 to 4 hours

Following wake windows can help prevent overtiredness and make naps and bedtime easier.

Can teething cause sleep problems?

Yes, for some babies, teething can cause temporary sleep disruption. Sore gums, fussiness, and changes in appetite may all affect how easily your baby falls and stays asleep. Extra comfort, teething-safe remedies, and sticking to your routine as much as possible can help.

When should I start a bedtime routine?

You can begin a simple, calming bedtime routine as early as 6–8 weeks. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated, just consistent. A warm bath, quiet cuddles, and soft lighting can all signal to your baby that it’s time for sleep. The earlier it becomes a habit, the more helpful it will be as your baby grows.